x = ________

Here's an interesting recipe equation that the courageously curious and creative should try:


 Recipe x = Coffee + 6am + thinking about the future on a global and personal scale + self reflection
x = Personal pace of life rises significantly (strangely feels like I only have 5 years left to live)
x = New experience
x = New perspective + new insight
x = Changed preconceived notions
x = Taking action + making concrete changes
x = Progress in life

 

This entire 'quasi-epiphany' is a result of the dramatic contrast I experienced in the past 6 hours. It's like the difference between the warm breath and the cold winter air; the end result is a visible vapour that can only be seen when there is dramatic change in temperature and moisture levels. In my case, the dramatic contrast was from having this 'extremely life-long deep sense of nothing-is-urgent' to having this new 'realistic sense of seriousness like I-might-die-soon'. The visible vapour that I now see spells out a mesage: Start living with conviction Tony. 

So the very first thing I will do with conviction is write; in fact I've already been doing it this entire time. Not enough people I see write for the public these days (under 140 characters half-counts). Self-expression via writing carries a lot of beauty, especially when you practice often like any other art/discipline. When you write truthfully, you're building a concrete bridge for anyone who reads to get closer to your mind and get a clearer vision of your thoughts and ideas, and then eventually understanding the person you are.

I need to express these things because..

  1.  It helps me throughout the learning process
  2. They have to do with a lot about the people in my life, and how I let a lot of them down in the past 2 years. I just unbelievably dissapointed them with my mistakes and none of them deserved any of it; they're all good people.
  3. I'm human; there's a natural desire to share worthwhile thoughts, stories. (AKA fuck it, I just feel like it)
  4. Hopefully I'll inspire others too, and then they'll say, "fuck it, I just feel like it too"

 

In the next 5 to 10 posts, I will share my thoughts on:

  • my quasi-epiphany and hopefully lasting sense of near-coming death
  • my old and new ambitions in life
  • the fact that I am a unfocused generalist and how I want to become a specialized generalist
  • badass people like Ai WeiWei (the man who designed the 2008 Olympic birds nest stadium) and how he was kidnapped by the Chinese government for his controversial art and outspoken opinions
  • jazz music, classical music, house music
  • future of the education system, future of the business game
  • filmmaking and my profound love for it
  • a non-superficial look at design and how it shapes our world
  • the immense amount of respect I have for anyone who practices any form of art
  • drugs, maybe
  • applying things I learned from my favourite elementary, highschool and university teachers
  • my life-long procrastination issue and possibly how to cure it
  • neuroscience and psychology, and the implications it brings
  • leadership theories and entrepreneurial projects
  • how I dissapear like a ghost and go MIA for weeks without notice, and how I hate it. I hate it.
  • having 4 hour conversations with an American who serves in the Air Force, residing in Italy
  • writing, reading, and just straight up sharing opinions without hesitation
  • 1000 more thoughts and ideas (actually, only 317. I save it on this notepad text file I've had for years)

Early in the fall of 2010, I was in on my Waterloo dorm room trying out different wines and looking through music blogs. I was on Andy Lo's site, a music artist who graduated  from my highschool. On his blog, I found a peculiar album whose sound resonated for me like mad. It was MC JIN and HANJIN's Buy1Get1Free shotgun album.

They call it a shotgun album because they made the entire album in the span of 10 days; 1 song per day. The end product was amazing. It was street-performance raw, but it was also studio-trained refined. It was honest and relatable. They just wrote songs about whatever they were thinking or however they were feeling that day. In my eyes, it was just so well done that I was hooked on every track on that album.

So now I'm going to have my own shotgun blog, and pay homage to these musicians who inspired me. For the next while, I will create one post per day about ________.